New

When I have been a victim of familiarity
When my heart has fallen into sleep
Healing is the voice that awakens me And it is you

You take an ordinary day And turn it into flowers like the month of May
Yes you do
You see all my pain
You cry over it for hours till I'm new again

Sometimes I think it takes a whole new world to truly understand who you are. It wasn't until I came to Africa that I was hit with some realities I was choosing to ignore back home. I am finding myself sooooo on fire for God, yet I can't seem to grasp what is out there for me. I read my Bible, I pray more than I have for the majority of my life, I worship him through song by myself and with others, and I have daily conversations with friends about our faith walks. For some reason, I can't feel it though. It seems like perhaps my heart has fallen into sleep. Maybe I am missing something that everyone else has figured out?! I found that I was getting upset with myself when I first got to Africa because I thought, God is gonna work in such amazing ways that I can't help but see him. Well, that was not always the case and I think I was hurt because part of me felt let down. I don't look for big miracles, but secretly I think that's what I expect.

However, as time goes on, I am learning to appreciate all of the little things God is showing me. I am learning to truly be thankful for my family and friends-here and in America. I wouldn't say I am a person to take advantage of others, but I just think I am learning to appreciate all the amazing people I have in my life as time goes on. Not to mention, being thankful for such a great experience as this. For most people, including myself, this is a once in a lifetime trip! As time goes on, God is revealing himself to me in ways I never thought possible. He is honestly blowing my mind! His healing voice is the one that is slowly waking my heart up to see what He has for my life. I still find it hard sometimes to really get something out of what I read, but I am finding other ways to connect with God instead. One of those ways is through other people. I am someone who loves to be around others, so this proves to be one of the best ways for me to grow closer to God as well as others. I want to live this life that is most importantly pleasing to God but also to others and I am now finding out that I am able to do that. I am learning that God meets us right where we are at. He isn't trying to move me somewhere I am not prepared to go.

I am falling more and more in love with Him as the days go on. I no longer want to be stuck in what is familiar to me. I want to dive in head first to brand new experiences and not be afraid of the outcome! I am ready to explore my life and follow God wherever he takes me. I would not say Africa has changed me, but has simply opened up my eyes a bit more to what life is really like and what it can be. I am learning striving towards God is never an easy process, but definitely worth it. That I am someone who is very dependent on others when it comes to my faith and I need to be more dependent on God than anyone else. That being alone and silent is not always a bad thing. I am amazed and impressed everyday that I get to wake up to a new day and have new experiences with God who loves me for who and what I am, even if that's not perfect.


"You make me new"

Circumcision

The "doctor" who is in the white shirt with black jacket and his crew.
Mud attack!
Sunset on the walk down the mountain.
Not even half of the people that attended walking down the mountain.


Well, I am pretty sure that I am getting my money's worth coming to Africa! If going to Rwanda didn't do it, seeing a circumcision definitely took the cake. Last weekend, (10/9-10/10), most of our group headed to Mbale for a class field trip. All we knew was that we were going to see a circumcision, but I don't think we truly knew what we were heading to.

We left early in the morning for a 3 hour drive to Mbale and stayed at a college campus there. We had tea, breakfast, listened to a speaker for about an hour talk about how a circumcision ritual is done, lunch right after, then off to the adventure of a lifetime! We drove in a huge bus and 1 van as far as we could go before the mud hindered out travel. It had been raining heavily for the past 3 days and the village that we went to was filled with muddy trails. By the time we actually reached the top, we had hiked about 5 miles UP a mountain in ankle deep mud. Most of the people in our group wiped out and were covered in mud. Even those of us who didn't fall were magically covered in mud. We got to the top sweaty, muddy, and out of breath and gathered around a group of men. This group consisted of the "doctor" who would be performing the ceremony and then other random helpers and family members. The boy who was going to be circumcised was only 14 years old. That seems old when it's in terms of what he is about to experience, but young in terms of calling someone a man. He was rushed up the mountain by about 10ish men and shoved in the middle of this circle of a bunch of Mzungus(us), hundreds of small children, and a bunch of other village people. The 1st cut was the cutting of the foreskin. The "doctor" did that and it was over before I even realized what was happening. After that was cut off, the boy was sent to run 6 miles!!! After he ran, he came back to the circle and they cut 2 more times. He then had to run another 6 miles!! The boy was not allowed to make any noises or cry and I am honestly surprised how well he did. After it was all over, he looked at all us Mzungus and laughed and danced. It was so funny to me that he was the one in pain, but he was laughing at us because we were so shocked/disgusted/amazed. It was a bloody, graphic sight to see, but interesting also.

When everything was said and done, the people rejoiced and drums were played, everyone danced, and we had a big dance party on top of the muddy mountain! I would say that it was a neat experience to have, but that I would not want to see it again-haha. I don't necessarily agree with this tradition, but I respect them for it. Now, after our amazing dance party, we had to get back down the mountain. This was proving to be more of a challenge than walking up the mountain. 1. The mud was worse from sooo many people walking up the mountain. 2. It was starting to rain. 3. It was getting dark 4. There were more people walking down than we had originally seen walking up 5. African men get mighty grabby when night comes! haha. A lot of people fell again on the way down, but I was a champion and never fell! We got back a little after dark and I'm not gonna lie, it was a bit scary. But, we survived to tell about it and the mud definitely made for a better story.

Mukono Homestay

Me and mama making chapati. Our fun chore together :)
My mama and papa supporting Greenville and Freeport!


For 2 weeks in September, we were all given the opportunity to stay with families in Mukono town. Me and my fellow students in the USP program were divided among families that live as close as 3 minutes outside of campus and up to an hour away(walking distance). Most of us were placed by ourselves, but a few students got another student with them because of limited families. I was fortunate enough to be placed alone and I am so happy that it worked out that way. I think I was able to interact better with my family and it forced me to be outside of my comfort zone and find a way to deal with it without the help of others.

So, here is a little background on my family before I get started with my actual experience. My mama and papa are called Robert and Jememiah. Random side note: People call my mama Aunt Jememiah, which makes me laugh because of the syrup. She never heard of it before so I told her about it and bought her a bottle :) Anyways, my papa is 31 and my mama is 32, which is rare because most men in Africa may wayyyy younger than them. They are different areas of Uganda, which created a little difficulty between the families when they got married. They celebrated their 5 year wedding anniversary the day I arrived there with them on September 11. That day it rained, which apparently is a sign of good luck when you have a guest and it rains. Also, the next day, my mama's family came over to celebrate their anniversary with them, but it was a total surprise. I guess it's also good luck when unexpected visitors come when you have a new guest, so they call me their good luck charm now! :) I have a unique family compared to most because they are still very young and they have no children. Most of my friends had siblings and older parents closer to our real parent's ages. Also, my mama is in a wheelchair and has been for most of her life. She got polio as a young girl and it damaged her legs. This is a huge deal because crippled people are not looked at very highly in society here. My papa's family didn't even attend the wedding because they were upset that he was marrying her. My mama is a wonderful lady who does so much despite her disability. They got pregnant a couple of years ago and last November ended up losing their 1st baby during child birth. I didn't know much about that situation because I was too scared to bring it up, but eventually my mama talked with me about it and she has a surprisingly great attitude towards the whole thing. Of course it was a horrible situation, but they are trusting in God to bring another child to their life. My parents work mostly from home, my mama sews any and everything, but her specialty is bags/purses. My papa is a weaver and has a workshop with looms that he makes place mats and matching table runners. They are both very talented and hard-working people. Like most families, they also sell things right from their home, like vegetables and fruits, or whatever they happen to be making that day. I had a very unique home situation in this way, but I think it made for an experience that I'll never forget.

A brief overview of my 2 weeks at my new home in Africa: I was super nervous about staying with a family for 2 weeks, but was also pumped to experience a different part of Africa. We went there on Saturday morning of September 11. My papa picked me up and we had about a 25 minute walk back to my home. We chatted quite a bit and he asked a lot of questions to make me feel more comfortable. It was a pretty easy connection with him because he is young, so I felt like I was talking with my big bro back in America. He gave me a little history on their life and the loss of their baby. I mostly left all the information he told me about them at that because I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate to bring up in front of my mama. When we got home I was welcomed very warmly by my mama and 2 "aunties," but it was a bit awkward. That weekend was filled with awkward tension and a lot of silence on my part. I went to church with my papa right when I got to my home stay because they are 7th day Adventists and they go on Saturdays. My family mostly speaks Luganda, so I sat in the kitchen with them but didn't talk since I don't know the language. My mama didn't really speak to me for the 1st like 4ish days, but she was never mean. She just watched me a lot and I think was mostly trying to figure me out before she opened herself up. However, after she opened up to me, we had a blast! She feels like my best friend here and we talk about any and everything! She always calls me "my sweet" which is my little nickname from her. My family has hosted 4 or 5 other girls before me, so they often talked about them. It was neat to hear the different stories of the girls and see how different we all are.

I learned a lot from my family, but most importantly how to be a great African wife, haha. I learned how to cook some traditional meals(mainly chapati) and how to make different fruit juices. I learned to make my bed, which of course I know how to do-haha but it's super important to do here before you leave the house. Also, I learned how to wash my hands and feet properly. My family also taught me some random words in Luganda in order to help me out in everyday life. My papa taught me words to help ward off men, haha. Our favorite family word is"Wolokoso" which is meaning for like rumors or gossip. It's a slang word and kind of a running joke in my household. We also love to sit around and compare how Americans speak English as compared to Ugandans. We make fun of the way words are said and we entertain ourselves for hours this way. I honestly laugh at my home stay for hours on end and it is nice because I feel more at home that way. I know I am loved and my family treats me as one of their own, as well as all the neighbors. I feel silly for being nervous about the experience and not trusting that God would blow my expectations, as he always does. I am truly blessed to have such a great family here and a place to call my own on those days when I need to get away. I was able to go to a farmers market with my family at the butt crack of dawn one of the days. It was a crazy experience full of fruits, vegetables, and people! It was miles of people crowded! I was very overwhelmed but glad I got experience that. On the way there, we had to take a taxi and our driver hit a boda boda man and I thought we were gonna get shot! It was a scary time in life, but makes for great stories :) Also, on Fridays my family sells their crafts at a market in Kampala. I was able to go with one Friday and experience what that was like. It was a blast! I am getting a great view of the many aspects of Africa.

Now that my home stay has been over, I have visited my family multiple times and I stayed the night a week ago. This week, I am going to be staying 2 nights with them as well. I am going to try and stay at least once a week, simply to keep up my relationship and because I miss them a lot when I don't go there often. It is always such a warm welcome when I return and I love that feeling. There are 3 little girls who live next to us and they always get so excited to see me! I am greeted with hugs almost every time. They love to have someone to play with them and be crazy! I have however been bit like 6 times by them, haha, but it's still fun. This home stay has been a great adventure for me and I am so thankful for a wonderful family :)

Salama

Me, Lindsay, and some of our adorable children! From left to right of the 4 who are actually in the picture: Kawesa, Joseph/Jon, Paris, and Innocent. Kawesa can see only a tiny tiny bit and that's if he is like right up next to something. Jospeh can see rather well. Paris sees only a little bit also and Innocent has limited sight as well.
Me and Jon-pee pants and all! :)



As some of you may know, but not all of you, I am doing an internship all semester at a place called Salama, which is a school for blind children. It is P1-P7, which is basically 1st-7th grade and the ages vary from like 7-18. Since some of these children have mental disabilities as well as being blind, they are behind and may be 12 but in a P2 class. Also, I think since they are blind, people treat them as if they are disabled when actually they are very talented. There are some older boys at the facility who can see pretty well, but still learn how to read and write in Braille, as well as in English. They are teaching the children English, but it is a slow and steady process. I do believe these children are truly special because they are conquering so many obstacles in life. Being blind in Africa is looked down upon and often seen as being cursed, so many families shun their children from their homes. Salama is a boarding school and offers a God-centered curriculum for these children to learn from.

When I first visited Salama, we got a tour of the compound and met the children. They were so welcoming and so very excited to have visitors that wanted to actually talk with them and learn from them. I have been helping there for over a month now and these children have already drastically altered my life. I know they have helped me just as much as I have helped them. When I asked some of them to teach me Braille, they got so excited, because I don't imagine they get many opportunities to share what they know with others. They teach me Braille and I attempt to teach them English, to the best of my abilities. One of the difficult tasks is conquering not only a language barrier, but a visual barrier as well. There are quite a few children who are completely blind and don't speak English very well. Between their broken English and my broken Luganda, we make quite a funny scene. However, we seem to manage and I enjoy ever moment spent there. It is also hard because a lot of the teachers are blind too and they also don't speak much English. A lot of the time, I am basically in charge of what I do and who I spend my time with while at Salama. It was a challenge at first to be somewhere that didn't have much organization, but now I am using that to my advantage and attempting to turn it into something good. It does allow for me to go to the different classrooms and just observe what they are learning. Me and some of the other girls who help there have also been taking children books and reading to them. They love to hear us read and we could read the same story over 10 times and they wouldn't be sick of it. The book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" has proven to be a crowd pleaser! :) Some of the kids who can see a little bit like to try and look at the crazy pictures on every page. I think reading to them has been one of the best experiences for me, just to see their faces light up even if they don't know every word that I am reading to them. On that same subject, one of the boys who can see pretty well, named Kato, he read one of the books to me and my friend Grace who help there and it was sooooo rewarding! He didn't know a lot of words, but he did his best and we helped him with the rest. I was so proud of him because I know this wasn't an easy task for him.

The story of little Jonny: There is a boy named Jon at Salama who quickly became my favorite! I am not sure how old he is, but he is under 8 and weighs about negative pounds. He looks almost like a cartoon character because he has these 2 HUGE teeth in the front of his mouth and that is about it. He is completely blind and also has some high form of autism(I think). There is def. some type of mental disability there. He can't speak English, but he is great mimicking what you say. His phrase of choice is always "Wasuze Otyanno" and I always say "Bulungi." This tends to be our only conversation for hours on end when I am there. He loves to be tickled and read to. Most of the time he just wants to jump with you and swing. I usually walk with him around the compound since he can't really be in a classroom setting and generally doesn't get much attention. The teachers are very busy with other students and are already under staffed as it is. The one thing Jon is known for is peeing his pants. He generally pees his pants at least 6 times within the 4ish hours I am there a day. That was hard for me to deal with at first, but now I am just used to it I guess. I am weird and love it when babies cry, or when little children pee their pants, because I know they need someone to love and help them and I am excited to be that person! Jon knows it's me whenever I come because he feels for my bracelets and them smells my hands. haha! He is changing my life more than he will ever know and I hope that I am blessing his life a little each day.

A day at Salama can look very different depending what time I do, but for the most part, I help out anywhere I can. I have taught a class-scary! I usually do laundry for a couple of hours each day, I help clean the compound, I teach English, I sit in on classes, I learn Braille, we have about an hour of prayer/worship time, we play games, read books, etc. This past Tuesday, my friend Grace and I stayed the night at Salama for the 1st time. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know what to expect, but I ended up having a blast! We went Tuesday (10/12) at 1:30pm and didn't leave until Wednesday (10/13) at 5:00pm. It was sooo wonderful to see the kids at night and see how outgoing they became. During the school day, they are more reserved and polite. But, at night, they let loose just had so much fun with us! We all got to know each other a lot better and I really enjoyed myself. The next day I was deathly tired, but I stuck with it and had a great rest of the day anyways. This internship is definitely one that will stay with me and has encouraged me to perhaps work with blind children later down the road or even mentally handicapped children. God is opening so many doors and changing my life one day at a time. Just from working at Salama already, I feel like I perhaps have made some difference in at least one child's life.

Fast Lane

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6




As I head out to my internship(Salama) the other day, I am riding in the passenger seat of a big 15 passenger van. It's just me and Vincent-my driver, for about an hour. We are speeding down the left side of the road past boda bodas, random people, and every pot hole known to man. I know he is experienced with these roads, but I can't help but to hold my breath for most the trip. We drive faster than maybe I would have and crazier than I would normally feel comfortable with. I quickly began to realize that event though Vincent has been driving these same roads for years and knows every nook and cranny, that I would still somehow feel better if I was driving. If I was speeding and hit someone, at least it would be my fault. If I hit a pot hole and damaged a tire, at least it would be my fault. I wouldn't have to sit and point the finger of blame at him and allow him to account for my actions. I would feel more in control if I were behind that steering wheel.


The more I thought about this, the more I found my relationship with God feeling the same way. I want to be in control always because I feel better when I know what is going on and what may happen next. I want to be behind the steering wheel because it makes me feel safer. He knows the 'roads' of my life better, but for some reason I want to find them on my own. I want to take responsiblity for whatever I do wrong and not have to blame God. I think I find it easier to blame myself rather than others. It's so hard for me to give total control to God without feeling like I need to hold my breath in case I crash. I found this verse in Proverbs so helpful, just knowing that God knows my path better than anyone, including myself, so why not let him sit in the driver's seat?